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Why I am proud of my daughter for quitting.

Writer's picture: jessica bowersjessica bowers

School just started, and all the other moms have posted updates accordingly. I debated posting "My daughter quit volleyball this year!," but was hesitant since I am conditioned to feel that I let my kid "give up." That I am a bad parent for not making her "stick it out."   But the thing is, during travel season, we did make her tough it out and keep her commitment to the team. This year she made a commitment to herself and for that, I am proud. 

 

I am proud of her for quitting AFTER all of the hard work, not before. She attended every team workout over the summer and even put in extra time training on her own. We all know it is so much easier when a choice is made for us. Instead, she made it a point to prove to herself that she could make the team (which she did) and THEN made the conscious decision to decline the offer.

 

I am proud of her wisdom beyond her years. In observing her navigate this milestone, it was evident that my daughter has already learned three lessons that many of us are still not proficient in:

 

1) Don't spend any more time on things that don't make you happy. She realized her heart was no longer in volleyball but was conflicted since she had already invested so much time in it. Like many relationships, the time invested in them should not be the sole factor of whether or not it should continue. If it is meant to be, she might even find her way back to it, but she knew enough not to force it.

 

2) Prioritization. I watched her weigh her values, her goals and how she would go about acheiving them.  

 

3) Don’t allow one thing alone to define you. It is scary to walk away from something tied to your identity. Especially, without having something lined up to replace it. However, it is okay to evolve into another version of yourself.  This doesn’t have to mean that either version is better or worse than the other, just different.

 

Admittedly, I am sad I don't get to watch her play anymore, but that sadness doesn't overshadow the joy of getting to watch her win at life.

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